Your Line Manager sits you in a one to one appraisal meeting.

They say, “you are difficult to work with and you are not a team player because you gave John constructive feedback” and they carry on with a “shopping list” of things you did wrong in the last few months.

As as a footnote they add: “Ah, and by the way, your KPIs have been achieved and your delivery has been marked as outstanding”.

Your mind starts to wander, searching in desperation scenarios where you might have done or said…

Have you been in a meeting when someone interrupted or stopped you talking by putting their hand up towards you / your face?

Did you feel so shocked, you stopped talking and let them take over?

Did you beat yourself up later for letting them do this and not standing your ground?

Most people (so far, it’s only been women) with whom I work experience this (usually from male colleagues) on a weekly, if not daily basis.

Let me get this out of the way — this is not because their male colleagues don’t value women…

Your leader asks you to give “an update to the new team” or “share with us what you’ve been working on”.

You are told you have 20 minutes and yet they interrupt you just after 5.

Their question is answered later on in your 20 Min presentation, at slide 17, but clearly they couldn’t wait that long.

What just happened?

What can you do to prevent this from happening?

This is what happened:

If the title of this article sounds harsh to you, you probably already use the techniques within. :-)

Do you give honest, useful feedback in meetings yet you have been pulled aside and told that people found you “aggressive” or “abrasive”?

Have you been criticised for giving your opinion to colleagues on their initiative?

This is a story I have head over and over again when I do communication training with people in tech companies.

Your Line Manager sits you own in a one to one appraisal meeting.

They tell you your targets have been achieved and your delivery has been marked as “outstanding”.

“Unfortunately however”, they say, “you have received negative feedback from colleagues saying you are difficult to work with and have been marked down on communication, collaboration skills and team work.”

Your Line Manager says: “I cannot tell you as I was given…

Adelina Chalmers a.k.a The Geek Whisperer

Helps Engineers who are Leaders (CEO/ CTO/ VP) get buy-in from their peers/teams/investors by transforming Communication techniques into Algorithms

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store