Unappreciated for Being Honest — How you can tell them they’re wrong without being called “aggressive” or “abrasive”

Do you give honest, useful feedback in meetings yet you have been pulled aside and told that people found you “aggressive” or “abrasive”?

Have you been criticised for giving your opinion to colleagues on their initiative?

  • “That approach isn’t going to work for us”
  • “You are wrong”, “That’s wrong”
  • “It’s not going to work”
  • “No, it’s not what we need right now”
  • “I would not have done it this way”
  • “It’s a bad idea”
  • “I don’t care”
  • “This is useless”
  • “I disagree with your proposal/solution/idea”
  • “That’s a terrible idea”
  • “It won’t work in X situation with Y limitation”
  • “It’s not important, it’s not a priority”
  • “It’s your job to do this, not mine”
  • “I wouldn’t have done it this way”
  • “It’s not what we are used to doing”
  • “Why not do it this other way?”
  • “You should have known XYZ”.

Why did they take this so personally? It was just feedback about their approach or initiative, not about them as a person…!

How the Brain Processes Information



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