Given Negative Feedback and Felt Unable to Control Your Emotions? Here’s What You Can Do About It

Your Line Manager sits you in a one to one appraisal meeting.

They say, “you are difficult to work with and you are not a team player because you gave John constructive feedback” and they carry on with a “shopping list” of things you did wrong in the last few months.

As as a footnote they add: “Ah, and by the way, your KPIs have been achieved and your delivery has been marked as outstanding”.

You feel like a rabbit in the headlights. You feel overwhelmed with emotion and you might even well up. You want to justify, defend and explain but you can’t get a word in edge-ways.

What Just Happened?

When you joined the company you were told the culture is one of collaborative consensus and a flat hierarchy and all those lovely and nice things.

What can you do about it?

In order to stop yourself spiralling into fight, flight or freeze, the best reaction in this situation is to become curious about their perception of the situations that took place and why you were perceived by your manager in this way.

Ask deeper questions about their statements:

If they say: “you were patronising to John”.

Helps Engineers who are Leaders (CEO/ CTO/ VP) get buy-in from their peers/teams/investors by transforming Communication techniques into Algorithms